Saturday, August 25, 2012

Matching each Devils' player with a car

Some Twitter followers suggested that I do this "segue" post between Down Goes Avery and this, my new blog for gearheads.  So, I've come up with this helpful guide for each current Devils player, and the topic has been something I've actually been thinking about for a long time.  Based on their style of play, what kind of car should they be driving?  What car do they represent as a hockey player?

Johan Hedberg - It's not the most glamorous car on the road today, but it's a reliable, fun second sports car.  You always look forward to driving it and some people say you should drive it more often.  It's not only still good at its job, but it's still a very good performance car.  Still, it is aging a bit and it's never been your most exciting car.

Johan Hedberg's car is a used Camaro Z28.

Marek Zidicky - This car isn't as appreciated as it should be.  While it can perform with cars that are more expensive and more flashy, this car quietly gets the job done and can be pretty fast in the process.  The average person might laugh at this car, but it's actually quite good and a well-kept secret to those who don't pay attention.

Marek Zidlicky's car is a Cadillac CTS.

Adam Larsson - This is a brand new car that has potential to be revolutionary.  It's had some growing pains early in its production, but a lot of experts believe that this will be the next big thing.  It's already caught the eye of many, but there's still work to be done in order for this to be the high-end car it could become.

Adam Larsson's car is a Fisker Karma.

Andy Greene - This car was never designed to be a sports car.  It was built simply and efficiently.  It's for people who want the car to get them from point A to point B and provides an effective and reliable ride in doing so.  It's not an exciting sports car or luxury car, but it's not supposed to be.

Andy Greene's car is a Honda Accord.

Henrik Tallinder - This used to be a solid car, but it's had some internal problems recently.  It can still be effective when it's running, but it hasn't been running enough to be used properly of late.  Despite that, you keep it around because it could still be of service to you in the future, you hope.

Henrik Tallinder's car is a used Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Dainius Zubrus - This car has always looked like a supercar, but it's never quite performed like one.  It's still a good sports car, but a lot of people wonder why it isn't faster and on the supercar level.  Despite it not being terribly fast, it's still a bit pricey and still looks like a very good sports car.

Dainius Zubrus' car is a Lotus Evora.

Stephen Gionta - This car comes from an already established company, but it's just recently burst onto the scene locally.  It's flashy and fast, but not like a traditional sports car.  This car is extremely small, and that's one of the appeals to it.

Stepehn Gionta's car is a Fiat 500 Abarth.

Adam Henrique - This is still considered to be a new sports car.  Some people still haven't heard about it, but it's very fast and very flashy.  There are more expensive and powerful alternatives to this one, but this one seems to draw a big crowd at car shows.  It's young, it's exciting and people want to see more of it in the future.

Adam Henrique's car is a base Audi R8.

Jacob Josefson - This European import figures to be good fun if it would actually start working.  It breaks down constantly.  Every time you think it's fixed and ready to get back on the road, something else breaks.  It's as if every single part of this car was built from glass.  Still, since you like it, you haven't given up on it...yet.

Jacob Josefson's car is a Peugeot 307.

Ilya Kovalchuk - This is one of the most exciting supercars currently built today.  It's unbelievably fast, despite being massive in size.  There are few, if any, modern production cars that anyone would take over this one.  It's quite simply an epic car, but due to its astronomical price tag, most of us can only dream of getting one.

Ilya Kovalchuk's car is a Lamborghini Aventador.

Steve Bernier - This isn't a particularly exciting car, but it's always been a fairly reliable and economical car.  Recently, however, it's taken a turn for the worst after an isolated event caused its downfall.  People are now hesitant to go near one, despite it still being a useful car.

Steve Bernier's car is a Saab 9-3X.

Travis Zajac - This car has always been a cheaper option than some of the big-name supercars, but it's always been able to keep up with the high-end supercars.  This car is very fast, yet it's more practical than some of its more expensive competitors.  It's one of the more under-appreciated cars in its class.

Travis Zajac's car is a Corvette Z06.

Ryan Carter - This has always had the reputation for being tough.  It's not a sports car or a luxury car by any stretch of the imagination, but it's effective when you need something rugged.  It isn't widely viewed as the best option to fill its role, but once you have one, you tend to warm up to it.

Ryan Carter's car is a Ford Edge.

Mattias Tedenby - Most people haven't made up their minds about this small new car.  It's a cheap sports car and looks great, but it hasn't proved that it's worth anything yet.  It has speed, but nobody really knows how good of a car it is overall.

Mattias Tedenby's car is a Scion FR-S.

David Clarkson - This is a pure muscle car.  It puts up impressive performance numbers, but it has no idea how to handle.  It has an attitude of sorts.  It's tough and it's fun to drive.  It's a blue-collar kind of performance car, but its greatest flaw is its suspension, which doesn't have much balance at all.

David Clarkson's car is a Shelby Mustang GT500.

Bryce Salvador - This is an extremely tough vehicle.  It's not an exciting or fast sports car, but it's a dependable and at times intimidating SUV.  It's durable and can keep going for hours.  For those who want the job done right, this is one of the best options around.

Bryce Salvador's car is a Land Rover Range Rover Evoque.

Cam Janssen - This beastly vehicle is extremely impractical and not many people like it at all.  It's essentially pointless and isn't very good at its job.  It's always getting in someone's way and never really does anything productive.  It would be better off in a boxing ring.

Cam Janssen's car is a Hummer H2 with some crash damage.

Patrik Elias - This car is one of the greats.  While it's not young anymore, it continues to perform just as it did years ago.  It's also a classy supercar.  It may not be the fastest car in the world anymore, but it is still a world-class car full of greatness.

Patrik Elias' car is a Ferrari F40.

Anton Volchenkov - This is another strong, tough SUV.  It's not very fast, but it is huge in size.  It's so big that it can be a bit impractical.  However, when it's used right, it can be very useful.  These aren't for everyone, but many people do like them.

Anton Volchenkov's car is a Cadillac Escalade.

Mark Fayne - Like the Escalade, this vehicle is very tough.  Unlike the Escalade, though, this one is more practical and it's much cheaper, too.  This one isn't fast, either, and some people really don't like it, but they should.  It's a working man's vehicle.

Mark Fayne's car is a Ford F-150.

Martin Brodeur - This supercar broke almost every performance record imaginable when it came out.  It was the ultimate supercar in its prime, and even today, while its numbers aren't as impressive compared to some of the newer supercars, this one will always be a classic.  It's one of the greatest cars of all-time.

Martin Brodeur's car is a McLaren F1.

So there you have it.  Everyone on the Devils gets at least a decent car...except for Cam Janssen (as you can imagine, if Eric Boulton were still around, he'd get an even worse car).  I skipped Krys Barch and Bobby Butler because I don't know much about either, so we'll just say that they get rental cars for now, although I have a strange feeling that Barch might be sharing Janssen's crashed Hummer.


Wait a minute.  I'm not done.  There's still one more.  He's not a Devil anymore, though.  You might remember back when he was still in New Jersey.

Zach Parise - This small SUV has improved since it first came out, but that doesn't matter, because this is an original.  This thing is appropriately named "Escape," just as his owner used free agency to escape from New Jersey.  This vehicle has been re-called because of how unreliable it is.  It's not loyal at all to its owner. One day it'll be fine and the next day, it'll be gone.

Yes, Zach Parise's car is an original Ford Escape.

Did you agree/disagree with my selections?  Drop a comment below or tweet to me with your picks and thanks for reading.

1 comment:

  1. Cam Janssen is not an H2. I don't think he was hired to score goals or be the go to guy when it comes to team unity. Janssen is a Ford Super Duty with an iron push bar. If you saw one of those coming at you, you may want to get out of the way; some weren't so lucky!